Let’s be honest.
Before I had children, I had certain ideas about motherhood.
I imagined peaceful mornings with pancakes, sweet snuggles on the sofa, and maybe—just maybe—a moment of privacy in the bathroom.
Hah. Hahahaha.
Let me tell you how that’s going.
Myth #1: You Can Go to the Toilet Alone
This one is my personal favourite.
Every time I try to sneak off for a moment of peace, one of two things happens:
- A child appears at the door like a horror movie character whispering “Mummy? What are you doing?”
- Or both children burst in with snacks, arguments, and full-volume toy commentary.
Once, I actually locked the door. That backfired quickly.
BANG BANG BANG
“Are you ok in there? You’ve been in there for EIGHT SECONDS!”
And the worst part? I still can’t remember if I even went.
Myth #2: You’ll Drink Coffee While It’s Hot
Oh sweet, naive past-me.
I make a cup, set it down, and it immediately becomes part of a hide-and-seek obstacle course.
By the time I find it again, it’s ice cold and I’m debating whether to reheat it for the third time or just cry quietly into the sink.
The only thing I get to drink hot these days is the shower water when someone flushes the downstairs toilet.
Myth #3: Children Love to Play Alone
Sure they do—until you sit down to do anything remotely important.
The second I open my laptop, pull out fabric, or start planning dinner?
Suddenly they become extra clingy, extremely curious, and very passionate about sitting on my face.
My work-from-home reality includes typing one-handed while saying “Please don’t lick your brother” and dodging flying LEGO.
Myth #4: Bedtime Is the End of the Day
Oh, you sweet summer child.
Bedtime is not an ending—it’s a negotiation, a power struggle, and a snack marathon wrapped in dinosaur pyjamas.
My personal favourite:
“I’m hungry.”
“You just ate.”
“That was a different kind of hungry.”
By the time they’re asleep (for now), I’m too tired to do anything except stare at the wall in silence and wonder when I last washed my hair.
Myth #5: You’ll Have So Much Mum-Baby Bonding Time
Yes, you will. And it’s beautiful.
But it’s also:
- Wrestling a toddler into a car seat while sweating through your bra.
- Answering the same question 67 times in an hour.
- Pretending to be a dinosaur, a puppy, and a superhero… all before breakfast.
The bonding is real—but so is the chaos.
And Yet…
In the middle of the madness, you hear:
“Mummy, you’re my best friend.”
“I love your cuddles.”
Or, in my case last week, “You make the best snacks… even when they’re broken ones.”
You laugh, you cry, and then you trip over a shoe someone left in the middle of the hallway (again).
Mum life is messy. Loud. Beautiful. Exhausting.
But mostly, it’s full of love—interrupted by bathroom invasions.
Final Thoughts: If You Know, You Know
If you’ve ever:
- Eaten a secret biscuit behind a cupboard door
- Been called to wipe something mid-toilet break
- Or pretended to fold laundry just to scroll your phone for five minutes…
Welcome. You’re in the club. 💛
Now if you’ll excuse me, someone just yelled “MUMMY HELP!” and it’s either a crayon crisis or someone can’t find their sock. Again.
With a cold coffee in one hand and love in my heart,
Krisztina 💛
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